Phillipians 4.13. Read it.

It seems my blogs only come after a time of weakness or pain in my life. For this I am sorry to those few who will read this in the course of history. It makes me feel like I'm using Edenderrce.org to vent, and perhaps I am. However, maybe in my foolishness and eventual recognition and removal of this someone will find a shred of help.

I'm not a great guy. I'm not being modest. I'm really not. There are maint faults to me, those of you who know me are well aware of them. Those of you who do not, don't need to know. My life has been easy, although I've found it hard, but easy in comparitive terms to those kids you see on Tv with flies on their faces starving. I'm selfish and I lie selfishly. I swear too. I do all this, and yet, Jesus loves me. I became a christian around 15 monthes ago and you know, you kind of have this blockbuster scene in your head of some blinding white shine while Sarah McLachlin plays in the background, but quite obviously its not. I gave my life to God that day, but what I gave him was in bad condition. I love my creator, and so now I work to try and make myself better for him and no one else. This is life. Which brings me to my main point.

Recently I watched a film called Garden State starring Zach Braff and Natalie Portman. Good show. The main point of it was that this is life. This is the only time on earth you get. I started thinking about this fact.

I'm 18, and as I said, a christian of 1.25 years. For that period of time, the same kind of mentality of when I became a christian was given to my christian life, and it is so so dangerous. I was sitting like, well, when God needs me, he'll make me appear in some war torn country with a bible and a fist full of sugarstraws for energy. This may be a slight exageration of my belief, but its a nice visual. "Don't worry stuart, when God needs you, he'll use you, just wait for something", is what I said to myself in my head, or something like it. Just wait. NO. As Zach Braff told me, and I'm not telling you, THIS. IS. LIFE. This is all the earth you're gonna get my friend. Stop waiting for something amazing to happen. Stop WAITING to get a situation to talk to someone about God. Stop WAITING for a mission team to be anounced and organise yourself a trip. As a new advert states Impatience is a virtue ( in moderation and the right situation ). So in closing, no more waiting for God to use you, the day you give your life to God you're an example, you are in use! Do your best for the Lord, do your best to BE the best for God.

This is life. Life is Good. Eternal Life is better.

Much love from a guy who cares.